Blow Off Some Steam: Through the Portal

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Update:

Well, I can say I'm 1000x times better than before. I'm confident, don't feel low or self-loathing, something I had for so long. I feel super confident and maybe a bit too much, I don't know, it's been a long time since I didn't feel like this, like 10 years or so. I feel good with myself, that's something amazing, to love yourself like you are and to look in the mirror and finally be okay with what you see. I didn't feel like this since ages, it's so good to be emotionally stable, damn, I can't belive I did it. I feel like nothing or nobody can break that again. I'm building an armor against all the negative things. People won't bring me down again.

Just have to fix some traumas that happened some months ago. You know, the stuff with people blocking me on twitter and some people that still trying to harass/stalk me are keeping me off of that social media. I'm still deeply afraid to try it. Well, I kinda wish to remain in contact with some people, that IF they can forgive me for my bad behaviour back then.

And a bit bored too, that's something I don't like. I want to keep my head busy so I can improve. I feel like a much better person.

I wanted to share this progress with you guys because I know I have a lot of people here who cares about me.

After so long, I'm victorious again.

That's awesome, man! Glad to see you're feeling better!

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Update:

Well, I can say I'm 1000x times better than before. I'm confident, don't feel low or self-loathing, something I had for so long. I feel super confident and maybe a bit too much, I don't know, it's been a long time since I didn't feel like this, like 10 years or so. I feel good with myself, that's something amazing, to love yourself like you are and to look in the mirror and finally be okay with what you see. I didn't feel like this since ages, it's so good to be emotionally stable, damn, I can't belive I did it. I feel like nothing or nobody can break that again. I'm building an armor against all the negative things. People won't bring me down again.

Just have to fix some traumas that happened some months ago. You know, the stuff with people blocking me on twitter and some people that still trying to harass/stalk me are keeping me off of that social media. I'm still deeply afraid to try it. Well, I kinda wish to remain in contact with some people, that IF they can forgive me for my bad behaviour back then.

And a bit bored too, that's something I don't like. I want to keep my head busy so I can improve. I feel like a much better person.

I wanted to share this progress with you guys because I know I have a lot of people here who cares about me.

After so long, I'm victorious again.

Congrats. Hopefully things continue to improve. Keep up the good work.

I am about to be done with the SW fan forum completely. I've never encountered so many entitled, pompous, rude people in such concentration in all my life.

CT-1138 wrote:

I am about to be done with the SW fan forum completely. I've never encountered so many entitled, pompous, rude people in such concentration in all my life.

Oh, I never entered Star Wars community but some people told me they are very arrogant and rude sometimes and always fighting because of canon and opinions. It seems it's a toxic community.


By the way, thank you so much for the messages Tyrant, TheRexMan, Rhedosaur and Levine! Means a lot!

CT-1138 wrote:

I am about to be done with the SW fan forum completely. I've never encountered so many entitled, pompous, rude people in such concentration in all my life.

Never go on Reddit or 4chan. Lol

Saurillian wrote:

CT-1138 wrote:

I am about to be done with the SW fan forum completely. I've never encountered so many entitled, pompous, rude people in such concentration in all my life.

Never go on Reddit or 4chan. Lol

Lol there's places of Reddit that are safe. Just avoid the extreme political subreddits and stick to tv subreddits of shows or fandoms you like, which is what I do.

I've taken on the burden of fighting for autism acceptance. This has been a long time coming. Unfortunately, it's really draining and I've taken many emotional beatings for it. I've lost friends, made enemies, and basically the only thing that keeps me going is the positivity I see from people who aren't complete a-holes. Maybe someday, people like me won't have to suffer under the oppression of a society that hates us, but for now, I'm gonna have to fight discrimination and ignore the goddamn milktoast neurotypicals who think that everything is fine the way it is right now, and I'm just whining about nothing. They have no effing idea what people like me go through. It's disgusting how willfully ignorant they are. Honestly, the people who claim that being upset about injustice is "rude" should have their nuts dissolved in acid (this is hyperbole, in case I get misrepresented yet again). I've become more and more bitter as I see just how little people care about those suffering from discrimination, but I still have hope. Bryce changed her mind. She listened. Maybe the ones who listen are going to turn the general sentiment in a positive direction, as opposed to those absolute morons who think it's my duty to suffer with a smile.

So much for tolerance eh? Well you always have friends on here to lean on. What really surprises me is that you're somehow finding time to do this and put out a new story every week or so. Good job my dude!

TheRexMan22 wrote:

So much for tolerance eh? Well you always have friends on here to lean on. What really surprises me is that you're somehow finding time to do this and put out a new story every week or so. Good job my dude!

Every two weeks, lol. But I'm definitely busy right now, especially with school starting up again.

Got banned from Facebook for 24 hours because I told some asshole who said he'd be okay with beating children that he should have his legs broke. Another example of how Facebook is going down the tubes.

A close friend, previously involved with a very bad crowd, just turned out to be a full white nationalist. I had hoped that he was just a naïve child who had stumbled into an evil community, but he could not be saved by the love of his friends. He took advantage of our efforts to give him a less toxic environment, then disrespected us, shunned us, and rejected us outright. We did everything we could to save him, but he is lost.

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

I'm so sorry for that Ty. If you need anything, talk or just rant over, I'm always here to listen. Keep positive.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I'm so sorry for that Ty. If you need anything, talk or just rant over, I'm always here to listen. Keep positive.

Thanks a lot, man. It means a lot.

I'm hangin' in there as best I can.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I'm so sorry for that Ty. If you need anything, talk or just rant over, I'm always here to listen. Keep positive.

Thanks a lot, man. It means a lot.

I'm hangin' in there as best I can.

I know how hard is, specially when it's about someone we love so much. My dad gave me a scare last year too.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I know how hard is, specially when it's about someone we love so much. My dad gave me a scare last year too.

Yeah, it sucks. I remember when I lost my grandpa to cancer 12 years ago. It was absolute hell for everyone involved. I know that's weighing heavily on him as well.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

I don’t even know what to say to that.... we love ya man

Troyal1 wrote:

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

I don’t even know what to say to that.... we love ya man

Thanks dude. It means a lot that I have friends like you guys to lean on during these hard times.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

Troyal1 wrote:

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

I don’t even know what to say to that.... we love ya man

Thanks dude. It means a lot that I have friends like you guys to lean on during these hard times.

*sends virtual hugs to Ty*

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

If it's any compensation, at least you have a loving father to worry about. Mine has because a grouchy, cranky, racist piece of trash that, at this point, wish he was dead.

Some old woman went on a tirade against me because I said it was wrong to call human beings "it". That's all I really have to say about that.

Rhedosaurus wrote:

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

If it's any compensation, at least you have a loving father to worry about. Mine has because a grouchy, cranky, racist piece of trash that, at this point, wish he was dead.

Well, mine is actually a lot of those things too. What makes it worse is he has panic attack syndrome, and the not being able to breath makes him panicky, which in turn makes it even harder to breathe. It's a horrible cycle.

Anyways, for anyone that's interested, here's the update. The antibiotics apparently aren't working and now the doctors want to do a CT scan of his lungs to look for cancer. His panic attack syndrome is really acting up too, and the staff their apparently aren't treating him overly well.

What makes everything worse is that I'm so tired all the time. I've gotten about 7 or 8 hours sleep total over the last 50 or so hours, I'm having to be at the hospital all the time, have to look after my grandmother at home, but I can't take any time off work cause we're broke, and I work graveyard shifts (11 pm to 7 am). So yeah, I'm pretty exhausted and just feel pretty powerless right now. Seems like every time I'm about to get some rest, something happens.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

Rhedosaurus wrote:

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

If it's any compensation, at least you have a loving father to worry about. Mine has because a grouchy, cranky, racist piece of trash that, at this point, wish he was dead.

Well, mine is actually a lot of those things too. What makes it worse is he has panic attack syndrome, and the not being able to breath makes him panicky, which in turn makes it even harder to breathe. It's a horrible cycle.

Anyways, for anyone that's interested, here's the update. The antibiotics apparently aren't working and now the doctors want to do a CT scan of his lungs to look for cancer. His panic attack syndrome is really acting up too, and the staff their apparently aren't treating him overly well.

What makes everything worse is that I'm so tired all the time. I've gotten about 7 or 8 hours sleep total over the last 50 or so hours, I'm having to be at the hospital all the time, have to look after my grandmother at home, but I can't take any time off work cause we're broke, and I work graveyard shifts (11 pm to 7 am). So yeah, I'm pretty exhausted and just feel pretty powerless right now. Seems like every time I'm about to get some rest, something happens.

I know it might not be something but I'm sending all the positivity to you (I'm not religious, but I'm keeping positive about this), I hope the doctors discover what it is as soon as possible and it sucks that they aren't treating your father well, specially someone that suffers with panick attack.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

Rhedosaurus wrote:

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

If it's any compensation, at least you have a loving father to worry about. Mine has because a grouchy, cranky, racist piece of trash that, at this point, wish he was dead.

Well, mine is actually a lot of those things too. What makes it worse is he has panic attack syndrome, and the not being able to breath makes him panicky, which in turn makes it even harder to breathe. It's a horrible cycle.

Awkward......

Well, you're a better human being then I am for caring more about your dad then I do.

I'm so sorry you guys have racist dads...I guess it's the generation. I have a racist uncle, it's horrible because we live in such a diverse country and no one is really 100% pure...

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I'm so sorry you guys have racist dads...I guess it's the generation. I have a racist uncle, it's horrible because we live in such a diverse country and no one is really 100% pure...

My 2 aunts, my dad's sisters aren't like that though. I just wish that he would just lose his voice for good. To never talk again.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I'm so sorry you guys have racist dads...I guess it's the generation. I have a racist uncle, it's horrible because we live in such a diverse country and no one is really 100% pure...

I moreso meant angry than racist xD

Valentines day sucks. And spending it single when you see everyone your age finding someone makes it hurt even more.

Valentines Day has always been a bullshit holiday, and no matter what the pro-Valentines Day people say, it IS a day for stores to make money.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

So my dad was just admitted to the hospital. He's been having a really hard time breathing for a while now but refused to go to a doctor. Finally it came to a head and we had to get an ambulance last night. Apparently he has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and his lungs are apparently infected as a result. The doctors are pumping him full of oxygen and antibiotics and seem to think the infection will clear up in a few days, but until it does he can't leave. I'm just scared shitless right now.

Update:

My dad came home today, and he seems to be breathing a lot easier. The antibiotics look like they're doing their job.