Best & Worst Comedic moment of each film

Jokes, comedy? Favorite and least favorite of each film please. You can include various options but also specify the one which you thought was best/worst. Mine:

Jurassic Park
Best: It's almost impossible given the vast amount of choices, you know from almost everything Malcolm says to Sattler's "woman inherits the Earth", to Nedry's wacky clumsiness and Gennaro's "autoerotica" and sitting on toilet, and so on. But Malcolm speaking to himself in the car after Grant and Sattler exit it is still just so damn hilarious even after 1000th viewing.
Worst: There aren't any, however if I have to pick one by force I guess I would have to go with Sattler's "small versions of adults" because it was sort of weird. Even if meant as in-joke between the characters

The Lost World
Best: Malcolm yawning in the subway with the tropical backdrop. It's pretty great actually.
Worst: Kelly's gymnastics. I hate most of Nick van Greenpeace's doings more but he doesn't really have that many comic relief moments or lines, and I can't justify any of them over the gymnastics

Jurassic Park III
Best: Everyone raises hands in the auditorium
Worst: Obviously there are lots of stupid ones, incl the dream sequence, Sattler's annoying kid jumping with Barney, and almost everything Kirbys say etc etc, but I think the feces scene and Ceratosaurus coming over is so over the top cartoon nonsense that I have to pick that one.

Jurassic World
Best: "You should hear a four year old try to say "Archaeornithomimus." -- "You should hear you try to say it..."
Worst: Again just like in JP3 lot to choose from, especially every haha-sarcastic-reference or other nonsense Lowery does make my blood to boil, but I think his initial "JP-legit" lines are the worst of worst. Saying that with his stupid JP reference shirt on.

Jurassic Park

Best: There's a LOT to chose from, especially thanks to Malcolm, but I'll go with Malcolm's mocking tirade about the two no-shows and Hammond's despairing expression and reaction: "I really hate that man."

Worst: "We can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back"; that line from Ellie just comes off as really forced and not all that funny in of itself

The Lost World

Best: "How do we find the adult?"
       "Follow the screams!"

Worst: Nick Van Owen's line regarding Kelly's relation to Ian: "You see anything of resemblance here."; a bit of a lame line to me.

Jurassic Park 3

Best: A completely unintentional one, but one that cracks me up: Talking Raptor: "Alan!"

Worst: The Barney scene, completely destroys the tension of that Spinosaurus river attack scene.

Jurassic World

Best: Zach and Gray are told to strap their seat belts, but none are available, so Claire tells them to hold hands. Beat. Gray holds his hand out to his brother. Not the best piece of visual comedy, but I always crack up because of it's spontaneity, Gray's earnest expression and Zach's "WTF?" face

Worst: The Jimmy Fallon cameos; the two brothers' bored reactions mirror my own.

JP

Best: "Well that is one big pile of sh*t."

Worst: "Dinosaurs eat man....Woman inherits the earth."

TLW

Best: Before the raptor attack at the village, when Malcolm calls "Nick Van Owen!" in reference to Nick calling "Sarah Harding!" when they first arrived on Sorna.

Worst: "The school cut you from the team?"

JP3

Best: "Alan"

Worst: Barney ruining the river sequence.

JW

Best: "What is that supposed to mean?"

Worst: Pretty much anything from the scene where Claire and Owen meet up for the first time.

Tyrant Lizard wrote:

Best: Before the raptor attack at the village, when Malcolm calls "Nick Van Owen!" in reference to Nick calling "Sarah Harding!" when they first arrived on Sorna.

Haha that was a great one, I had somehow forgotten it. I would put it as my number #2 after the yawn. Third best would either be the King Lear poster starring Schwarzenegger, or "San Diego County Dept of Animal Care & Control" car

Quote :

Worst: Pretty much anything from the scene where Claire and Owen meet up for the first time.

That's the only scene in the film I didn't have any problems with

Pile of s**t is pretty good. I don't think there is a best one because a lot of them are good. But that one still gets me to smile slightly. OH the Disneyland bit between Hammond and Malcolm.

Worst: Eh the squeak when Nedry falls. A bit too slapstick.

TLW

Best: Eddie smacking the satellite phone after lecturing Ian about it. Or perhaps the "Nick van Owen" bit.

Worst: Fast food bit just because the other two rode on Ian's coattails. Or--more likely because it wasn't good at all--the gymnastics thing.

///

Best: The tricycloplots thing or the subtle evolution from Amanda yelling to Amanda and Paul yelling to just Paul yelling for Eric. Or Alan and Eric in the InGen truck. OR survival of the most idiotic.


Worst: Raptor "Alan". Or the obviously trying to be funny "What's a bad idea?" exchange.



JW

Best: I can't think of anything since I have watched it like twice. Maybe thrice. I seem to recall Owen laughing when Indominus was mentioned. That was pretty great. Cuz That was me there.


Worst: Masrani trying to be funny with Claire in the chopper. Or the sex joke Owen did with Claire. AWKWARD.

Mistral wrote:

That's the only scene in the film I didn't have any problems with

Funny. That's my most hated scene from a film that I otherwise really enjoyed.

Different strokes for different folks.

Jurassic Park

Best: "Remind me to thank John for the lovely weekend" or the iconic Malcolm's laugh moment.
Worst: Tim's jokes about the dinosaurs name on the tree. I cringe everytime.

The Lost World

Best: The old ladies looking at Malcolm on the train and his reaction
Worst: "Hyenas, lions, you..."

Jurassic Park III

Best: Paul Kirby doesn't have the money for the vending machine
Worst: Paul Kirby saying he misses fishing

Jurassic World

Best: "It means I'm ready to go" moment
Worst: "No no, with him, definitely him". It was a nice joke, but wrong in that context imo, since Claire just saved Owen's life.

Jurassic Park
Best: Generally any moment with Nedry and Arnold and Hammond's disgust with him. "Thanks Dad." is probably the single funniest line in the movie because of how pathetic and childish it is.
Worst: Easily "Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth." It just hangs in the air like a putrid fart. Zero laughs and the most failed comedic moment in the saga.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Best: "Oh you're breaking our hearts." It was funny and the closest the movie ever comes to properly chastising Nick Van Owen for his extremism.
Worst: That "Two double cheeseburgers with everything," bit. It feels so incredibly unrealistic for the characters to say in that situation, and it weakens the sense of urgency.

Jurassic Park III
Best: Paul Kirby fails to break the vending machine and hurts himself.
Worst: Probably the Barney bit, but it wasn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be

Jurassic World
Best: "No no, with him. Definitely him." Its context isn't perfect since Claire had just rescued Owen, but keep in mind that Owen was the one taking initiative as soon as he got up ("hey, we gotta go") and they had to go to Jurassic World to see her, a relative they hadn't seen in 7 years and who'd failed to take any initiative to see them even after Gray gave her a big adorable hug.
Worst: Jimmy Fallon's unfunny gyrosphere bit, though even that was saved by Gray's disgust.