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 Is this story worth continuing?

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Minmi
Ceratosaurus
Ceratosaurus
Minmi


Posts : 169
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Join date : 2017-01-16
Location : Waterfall City, Dinotopia

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PostSubject: Is this story worth continuing?   Is this story worth continuing? Icon_minitimeFri Jan 20, 2017 3:33 am

In February 2015, I started writing a story called "Welcome to Dinosaurus High". Basically, it's a school for dinosaurs. I didn't get very far into the story and I'm wondering if it's worth continuing. Have a read of what I've written so far and tell me what you think.
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Minmi
Ceratosaurus
Ceratosaurus
Minmi


Posts : 169
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2017-01-16
Location : Waterfall City, Dinotopia

Is this story worth continuing? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Is this story worth continuing?   Is this story worth continuing? Icon_minitimeFri Jan 20, 2017 4:21 am

I've found the file on my computer, so here's the story:


It was Sauriantation Day for new students at Dinosaurus High. Sierra Tops sat nervously outside the Principal’s office. Beside her sat her cousin, Tora.

The door opened and a middle-aged Hadrosaur came out. 0]]“Miss Tops, Miss Sorriz, the Principal will see you now.”
[/i]
0]]“Thankyou, Sir.”[/i]

Gathering their bags, Tora and Sierra walked quietly into the office. A stern-looking Baryonyx sat behind a black wooden desk.

0]]“Good morning, girls, welcome to our school. I am Mrs Onix. I hope you will be well-behaved, hard-working students. I’ve organized for one of your classmates to be your school guide for the day. She’ll show you where you can find the various classrooms and other amenities.”

[/i]There was a knock at the door. 0]]“Come in!”[/i]

A young Velociraptor entered. 0]]“You wanted to see me, Mrs Onix?”

ff00]]]“Yes, Miss McRaptor. These are your new classmates, Sierra Tops and Tora Sorriz. I’d like you to show them around the school, please.”
[/i]
0]]“OK, Miss.”[/i]

Mrs Onix turned back to Tora and Sierra.

0]]“Enjoy your time here. You will learn many new things and, hopefully, make many friends. Now off you go to class.”
[/i]
Sierra and Tora left the Principal’s office and followed their new classmate into the main school.

0]]“I’m Velocina McRaptor, by the way, welcome to Dinosaurus High. Don’t worry, you guys will fit right in. Well, here are your lockers. There’s plenty of room for your books and bags and, if you like, you can jazz your locker up with our decorative school emblem.”
[/i]
A Stegosaurus opened a locker behind them. 0]]“Hey, Vel, our next class is Saurian Evolution, right?”
[/i]
0]]“Yeah, Saurian Ev next, and Stiggy, these are our new classmates, Sierra and Tora.”

ff00]]]“Triassic! It’s always great to see some new faces around here!”
[/i]
Tora began to unload her bag, stacking her books on the locker’s top shelf. 0]]“Which book do we need for that class?”
[/i]
0]]“A Beginner’s Guide to the Evolution of Saurians. That one there, with the gold cover.”
[/i]
Gathering their books and pens, they closed up their lockers and walked together down the hall.

0]]“We’re in Room 43,” [/i]said Velocina, who continued to point things out as they walked.

0]]“There’s the library....and through there’s the canteen where you can get your lunches, I recommend the fish fingers, they’re fantastic! Anyway, there’s the Student Rec Room, oh, and the Ladies toilets in case you need them.”

[/i]Arriving at Room 43, they lined up with the rest of their class. It was a mixed bunch of saurians, ranging from tall long-necked Sauropods to crested Hadrosaurs and sharp-toothed Tyrannosaurs.

The classroom door opened and a flat-headed Hadrosaur wearing a purple scarf emerged. 0]]“Quiet please, class!”
[/i]
It took a while, but eventually voices lowered and the students were allowed to enter the room and take their seats.

0]]“Good morning, class!”

“Good morning, Mrs Sorra!”

“Today we’ll be learning how saurians have evolved to live in a variety of different environments. Turn your books to page thirty-five, please.”
[/i]
Settling into their seats, everyone took out their books and pens.

0]]“Who can tell me three environments that saurians have adapted to?”
[/i]
A small clawed hand was raised. 0]]“Swamp forests, open plains and wetlands.”
[/i]
0]]“Well done, King.”
[/i]
Glancing across the room, King caught Sierra’s eye. He smiled then quickly returned to work. After forty-five minutes, the bell rang to signal morning break.

Packing their books back in their lockers, Sierra, Stiggy, Velocina and Tora headed to the canteen for morning snacks. While Stiggy, Sierra and Tora found a table, Velocina went to the food service desk.

0]]“Hi! What can I get you?”

“Three fruit frappes, one lemonade and......a pack of donut-bites.”

“What fruit combinations would you like in the frappes?”

“One with coconut and guava, one with melon and plum and one with tangerine and cherry.”
[/i]
After a short wait, a waitress carried a tray to the desk. 0]]“That’s $10.20, please.”
[/i]
Handing over the required money, Velocina took the tray and scanned the crowded room for her friends. She eventually spotted them, sitting at a table near the back of the room.

0]]“Yum, donut-bites,” [/i]said Stiggy, as Velocina put the tray on the table. He grabbed a straw and stuck it in the melon and plum fruit frappe. 0]]“So, what do you girls think of our school?”
[/i]
0]]“It’s not bad, but it might take some getting used to,”[/i] Tora replied. 0]]“Our other school was smaller.”

“Which school did you last go to?”

“Maastrichtian Elementary.”

[/i]Before they knew it, morning break was over and it was time to go back to class. They collected their books and lined up outside Room 21, where they had their Food Science class.

0]]“What do we do in this class?”[/i] Sierra asked.

0]]“Cooking.”
[/i]
The door opened and the domed head of a Pachycephalosaur appeared. 0]]“Come inside quietly, please, and stand behind your benches! Three students per bench!”
[/i]
Stiggy, Tora and Velocina got a bench at the front, while Sierra wondered who she could work with. Suddenly, she heard a voice calling her.

0]]“Sierra! You can work with us if you want!”
[/i]
It was King. He was stood beside a young Brachiosaurus at a bench at the back of the room.

0]]“Today you’ll be learning how to prepare and cook Broiled clam with chilled ammonite and seaweed sauce. Come and collect your recipe sheets then you can start gathering your ingredients.”
[/i]
0]]“So, you’re the new girl, eh?”[/i] The young Brachiosaurus nodded at Sierra. 0]]“I’m Brocky.”
[/i]
King returned with the recipe sheet. 0]]“We need a Broiler pan, foil, a blender, five clams, seven seaweed strips, a cup of Bilberry juice and six ammonites.”
[/i]
0]]“I’ll get them.”[/i] Brocky joined the students gathered around the ingredients table and, ten minutes later, returned with a full basket.

Sierra read the cooking method. “Line the broiler pan with foil. Remove ammonites from shells, wash and chop into chunks. Cut seaweed into small squares. Put chopped ammonites, bilberry juice and seaweed squares into a blender. Mix until all ingredients are combined then refridgerate. Pre-heat broiler pan. Remove clams from shells and wash. Pat dry and broil for five minutes.”

Carefully following their recipe sheets, everyone got to work and, by the end of the class, there were eight full bowls sitting on the front table.

Then it was off to the next class. 0]]“I love geology,”[/i] said Stiggy, as the lined up outside Room 5. 0]]“Don’t you think it’s fascinating?”

ff00]]]“Not in a Jurassic minute,”[/i] King grumbled. 0]]“What’s so great about a bunch of rocks?”

“There’s all different kinds of rock.....igneous rock.....sedimentary rock.....metamorphic rock.....”

ff00]]]“Don’t bore me with strange words, Stiggy! I’d rather play Mesozoic Mish-Mash at the Arcade than listen to you blabbering on about how many different types of rock there are.”
[/i]
The door opened and a large Pteranodon wearing a funky multi-coloured tie welcomed them inside.

0]]“Good afternoon, class!”

“Good afternoon, Mr Odin!”

“What are we learning today, Sir?”
[/i]Stiggy asked.

0]]“I’m glad you asked, Mr Sauron. Today we’ll be learning about the circumstances under which different types of rock form.”
[/i]
0]]“Yay,”[/i] King mumbled, 0]]“just what I always wanted to learn about.”
[/i]


This is as far as I've gotten. If you think this story is worth continuing, please let me know.

_______________
The traditional greeting of Dinotopia: "Breathe Deep, Seek Peace"
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TheRexMan22
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TheRexMan22


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Location : Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Is this story worth continuing?   Is this story worth continuing? Icon_minitimeFri Jan 20, 2017 9:49 pm

I'd like to see where you go with this!

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Have nothing to do with the deeds of darkness
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Minmi
Ceratosaurus
Ceratosaurus
Minmi


Posts : 169
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2017-01-16
Location : Waterfall City, Dinotopia

Is this story worth continuing? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Is this story worth continuing?   Is this story worth continuing? Icon_minitimeSat Jan 21, 2017 6:09 pm

Shown below is a list of the student characters I've created for this story. Let's see who can correctly guess which dinosaur (or non-dinosaur) species each character is (3 have already been mentioned).


Allie Sorrus
Tara Dactyl
Velocina McRaptor
Terry Dactyl
Dayne Onikos
Sierra Tops
Brocky O'Sauros
King Rex
Stiggy Sauron
Tora Sorriz


_______________
The traditional greeting of Dinotopia: "Breathe Deep, Seek Peace"
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Is this story worth continuing? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Is this story worth continuing?   Is this story worth continuing? Icon_minitime

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