Blow Off Some Steam: Through the Portal

I feel like giving up. I come to realize I'm alive just bc one reason.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I feel like giving up. I come to realize I'm alive just bc one reason.

Diego. Don't give up! You have a lot of friends on here and on twitter, and we are all supportive of you, you can talk to us anytime!

Sickle_Claw wrote:

Troyal1 wrote:

So not only am i jealous of my successful family members who are in relationships i now found out something else. The person who my cousin is dating is actually famous. Not going to say the name, but the parents are billionaires..... yes that is not a typo. B....

I know not everything is about money but again that's just ANOTHER win for someone else and another L for me(who is sitting here lonely with nobody).

f*ck my life.

Holy sh*t. Yeah I know what you mean. Like that is an insane level of lucky... Meanwhile Ive been sending message after fruitless message on dating sites. Ones that actually -try- to connect based on what they say on their profile and ask somewhat insightful questions. And? Ignored because I'm not Ryan Gosling.

Yeah man I totally get it. No homo but I don't see anything wrong with your appearance. You certainly aren't over weight or ugly. The only thing I can think of is maybe wear more expensive clothes and hit the gym? Literally the only thing I can think of. (Besides becoming a superhero of course lol). Idk man I just am not good at giving advice though.

Back to my issue it's not that I'm mad at my cousin. I mean good for her she's gonna have a fantastic life. But she is already a model, with plenty of money and no problem getting what she wants. And it just seems like the more you have the more you get damn it!!! A fucking Billionaire. So surreal. I mean these are people who regularly bump shoulders with people like hillary(still not going to mention their names).

Oh well maybe I'll meet someone famous lol. Maybe the dude has a sister....

Troyal1 wrote:

Sickle_Claw wrote:

Troyal1 wrote:

So not only am i jealous of my successful family members who are in relationships i now found out something else. The person who my cousin is dating is actually famous. Not going to say the name, but the parents are billionaires..... yes that is not a typo. B....

I know not everything is about money but again that's just ANOTHER win for someone else and another L for me(who is sitting here lonely with nobody).

f*ck my life.

Holy sh*t. Yeah I know what you mean. Like that is an insane level of lucky... Meanwhile Ive been sending message after fruitless message on dating sites. Ones that actually -try- to connect based on what they say on their profile and ask somewhat insightful questions. And? Ignored because I'm not Ryan Gosling.

Yeah man I totally get it. No homo but I don't see anything wrong with your appearance. You certainly aren't over weight or ugly. The only thing I can think of is maybe wear more expensive clothes and hit the gym? Literally the only thing I can think of. (Besides becoming a superhero of course lol). Idk man I just am not good at giving advice though.

Back to my issue it's not that I'm mad at my cousin. I mean good for her she's gonna have a fantastic life. But she is already a model, with plenty of money and no problem getting what she wants. And it just seems like the more you have the more you get damn it!!! A fucking Billionaire. So surreal. I mean these are people who regularly bump shoulders with people like hillary(still not going to mention their names).

Oh well maybe I'll meet someone famous lol. Maybe the dude has a sister....

Yeah I get it. I think the problem is I dont always wear nice clothes, just regular shirts...I mean even a button down or whatever could probably go a way to improving my chances if I wore one on a regular basis. Anyway yeah I agree about the thing about attractive people ...like my sisters friend broke up with her boyfriend and like a month and a half later was dating someone else again and I was like wtf lol.

Yeah I mean good for your cousin but oh wow a model... yeah.

Anyway yeah I have been trying to eat better as a start but its hard when your family keeps ordering fast food, you know?

So guys, I don't know how to express myself. I feel really anxious and kinda scared that I won't do anything usefull and that makes me happy. I wanna be happy damnit. How I find out what makes me happy?

Sickle, just upgrade your version number. You're sickle claw 1.0 right now but the Park wants to see something better. Stay you but change your appearance to what you want it to be. Eat better, work out a bit, and throw on a polo instead of a t-shirt. Get your haircut and whatever else. Once youre confident in yourself it will be palpable to others. Not arrogant just confident.

Troyal, stop being jealous as it doesnt look good on you. You're so busy feeling bad for yourself while comparing you seem to have lost sight of other things. I bet some kid with cancer or homeless man would love to have what you have like health and a home. Do you think those people should just feel bad about it or should they hope to beat their illness and hope to improve their lives?

Spinosaur, Your work or school might not make you happy but not everything will. Im sure you have hobbies or interests that do make you happy, pursue them when you can. You have to realize not everything will always be perfect but you do have the opportunity to be happy if you try your damnedest and learn to appreciate when you are happy.

Spiegel wrote:

Sickle, just upgrade your version number. You're sickle claw 1.0 right now but the Park wants to see something better. Stay you but change your appearance to what you want it to be. Eat better, work out a bit, and throw on a polo instead of a t-shirt. Get your haircut and whatever else. Once youre confident in yourself it will be palpable to others. Not arrogant just confident.

Troyal, stop being jealous as it doesnt look good on you. You're so busy feeling bad for yourself while comparing you seem to have lost sight of other things. I bet some kid with cancer or homeless man would love to have what you have like health and a home. Do you think those people should just feel bad about it or should they hope to beat their illness and hope to improve their lives?

Spinosaur, Your work or school might not make you happy but not everything will. Im sure you have hobbies or interests that do make you happy, pursue them when you can. You have to realize not everything will always be perfect but you do have the opportunity to be happy if you try your damnedest and learn to appreciate when you are happy.

While I'll agree to a point I certainly don't think anyone(besides someone who is terminally ill) is envious of my health. I'm not dying, but I can't do much of anything either. Home wise, I suppose you're right. But again I think I'd rather be much poorer and have a better chance to actually improve things than where I'm at now. Because I'm not happy.

How do you fix something that inherently can't be fixed? That's why I get so damn frustrated. It's pretty fucking shitty to have a terrible high school life, finally get some confidence to change it, and literally right when I'm about to make my dreams come true and go to college I get a bad illness. I was going to turn everything around and prove everyone wrong. But nope I'll always be the joke of the family. The one who never did anything.

Victory literally snatched away, weeks away from everything I always wanted. An 18 year build up of frustration and misery chrashing down and now I'm 23 and it's getting WORSE.

I'm sorry if I come off as a A hole. But yes I'm very bitter. Not going to lie.

I think I'm better.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I think I'm better.

When you say you want to do things that make you happy what do you mean? Like a job?

Troyal1 wrote:

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

I think I'm better.

When you say you want to do things that make you happy what do you mean? Like a job?

Yes. I want to do something that I have the greatest passion out of all things in my life, I want to discover new things, be usefull. Damn I need to be happy.

So I've kinda been spending the entire summer scared for one reason or another, I spend whole days without going outside and rarely uncovering from my dress of blankets. I just don't feel safe anymore, and all I can do is hide and watch children's shows to keep myself from having a full-blown panic attack.

So I'm not one to usually vent my problems or burden anyone else with my issues but I need to vent.

So I'll explain my story and go from there.


Earlier on this year, I lost 3 family members all within close succession of another. Most of them were on my wife's side, but one of them was my grandfather, whom I had not seen in almost 10 years due to financial constrain. This affected me heavily as much as I didn't show it. I got myself in a gigantic rut and stopped going to work, looking after myself, was always fighting with my wife and not being the best father to my son that I could be.

Fast forward to May/June I thought the rut was fuelled by my workplace. It was a rather well paying job and something I had personal passion for. However average management and the fact it was retail was a big turn off. I had many friends there, the first place I had found good friends other than my best mate from school. I thought enough was enough it's time to leave technology and the It industry and get outside and work. I started applying for jobs like wildfire. Some of them still related to IT and some completely different. One I came across was working for a Timber Company as what I thought would be building wooden furniture but turned out in the long run to be just a crappy yard hand job with a shitty boss and terrible working conditions. I hastily applied and had the job within 3 days. Handed in my two weeks at My old employer and left with a smile on my face. That smile was lucky to last more than 3 hours into my first shift. While I had finically procured weekends off and a lot of overtime. I didn't realise what I had sacrificed. Time with my family. My wife and I never saw each other, she worked weekends. It had some advantages, we didn't have to find a babysitter every week for my son and I had some regularity over a rotating roster.

The job was awful, I was bullied early on, management was horrendous and I felt myself feeling more depressed than ever before. This caused even further tension at home and almost led to a split with my wife, as I was taking days off again and not caring. I put us into financial stress, while since then we have had our wedding which was the best day of my life, but still recovering from the financial harship I had put us in. The reason for this was I had applied for another job, had the interview and got what is now my current role. During this time however I had 4 weeks off and all was unpaid. I personal destroyed our good budget we had going to make ends meet. I caused even further rifts in my relationship and home life but now however I am in my 3rd week of my knew role.

I thought this was it, no more depression or work insecurity. I've done it. I've got myself a job where I'm training to become a qualified financial worker, working close to home and now my partner had one weekend day off. So we get some time together.

Now I know actually having a job is no easy task, it's almost impossible for some to get into the workforce. I know my problems may seem like first world but they are still affecting me in the worst possible way.

Now starting my 4th week after training and I'm on the floor, performing my role, I thought I was enjoying myself. Debt collecting is a blood sucking job, but I've found myself to be quite okay at it so far. I hung out with my buddies from the first employer I mentioned last night and they were all swapping stories and having a good laugh about work. Which has made me come to realise two things.

1. I had a pretty good job originally, was working into my 3rd year and had become a senior, respected member of the team. My depression was not caused by this job or my home life but my inability to talk about my problems and stand up to those who wish to pull me down.

2. I made the worst mistake leaving my old job (before the Timber yard) and regret this decision heavily.
Not only did o destroy my family and it's financial situation, I've destroyed myself even further.

Now I literally cannot afford to job hunt again, nor should I, as I made all these decisions without the proper consult from my best friend and love of my life. To which caused serious tension on our relationship. For me to go to her and say I don't like what I'm doing will cause the fight of fights. I am ashamed to have put her through this, given how depressed she was already from losing her brother and post natal depression. I am so regretful for doing all this, and wish I was of more sound consciousness to realise my mistakes early on. Now the best I can do is put a smile on my face, work my ass off and do the best that I can to provide for my family, no matter the cost. After all, my job is a means to an end. For how long that smile will last, who knows. What I do know is, is that's I need to slow down and think before I make decisions and see how they affect those I care about. I am still depressed, but that needs to be buried for now. As my family will always come first.


*Disclaimer* I know how hard it is to find a job, and how high unemployment rates are around the world. Please don't take offence to my post. I mean no harm. Just want to get it off my chest. Thank you for understanding.

Océane wrote:

So I've kinda been spending the entire summer scared for one reason or another, I spend whole days without going outside and rarely uncovering from my dress of blankets. I just don't feel safe anymore, and all I can do is hide and watch children's shows to keep myself from having a full-blown panic attack.

Look after yourself, friend. I've had a very similar thing going on for the last year of my life, to the point where I've had to put university on hold for the sake of my sanity. I was at the point where I was napping all day every day just to stave off anxiety attacks, and binging comfy TV shows like The Simpsons. Since moving back home I've been improving, although I have my off-days frequently and am still a bucket of neuroses about a lot of things. Surround yourself with a few close friends if you can, although I'd advise also running a very tight ship. There are some phenomenally damaged, aggressive people out there, some of whom will pretend to be your friend first. I've changed as a human being almost completely over the last year - after being stalked by an absolute maniac at university I'm basically on permanent high alert and am extremely paranoid. My mental health deteriorated for a long time, and truthfully, I guess I had a nervous breakdown (I was referred to a psychosis intervention clinic by a university doctor for one thing), although since getting away from the human tumours I've started to improve hugely. There was a time a few months ago where I was staying in bed all day, hardly eating, and going to doctors appointments in my pyjamas. Some people are just fundamentally perverted from the soul upwards, I guess.

That being said, there are plenty of great people out there too. It's a spooky world, but you can find your niche in time. Since moving back to my hometown I've had my closest friends to support me and have a good time with, and perhaps most wonderfully, have reconnected with my oldest childhood friend. Jeez, what a creepy second post to make. I'm sorry I sort of hijacked your post. Stream of consciousness stuff.

Does anyone have a Twitter here? If so, can you guys send this message to Lord Kristine, Jodran, Angus Galiano and Matheus Menecez for me?

"Hello, I'm not asking you anything, just please read this message. I know you are angry with me. That you probably hate me by now. That you don't even want to look at me again. For many times I wondered and asked you why, and you said for me to look up at my actions/past. And I kept wondering why. Now I really stopped to look at it, to see WHY I hurt you, even when I didn't mean to. Now I see why you said those things, why you blocked me and stuff. It was toxic. I was not only an ignorant person, but also vile and horrible. I look at the mirror and I see it now. I see that I'm a horrible person for doing all those things. I feel ashamed for being me, for even to be born. I deeply consider you a friend, even if you don't anymore. And now I see what being a friend means. And I see that I probably lost my friends for being such a piece of human crap. I'm writing this for you to just let you know that I know what I did now, because I couldn't bear to leave this world without letting you know that I'm really sorry for everything. For being what I was. For saying a lot of hurtfull stuff. I don't know if you even will forgive me one day, but if you don't, it's okay. It's all my fault. I was wrong, I acted wrong. And I deserve to be punished like the horrible person I am. So don't worry because I'll do it by myself. I'm searching for a therapist right now but I don't know if I even will live to see one. You can rest safe, because I'll never EVER hurt you again, not anyone. I'll cut the problem by it's roots. I am the problem, don't know how it took so much for me to know it. There's a lot of wrong stuff inside me, I'm not normal. Anyway, I just want to thank you for making me smile, before the days I started to act so lame, so horrible. You are a good person, and I'm glad to have met you. I hope you are happy or finds happiness, I really do. Because I'm not a happy person, and it hurts. Okay, that's all I think, goodbye. I hope when I'm dead you guys can be happy again. That's probably the only solution for a freak like me."

Thanks, that's all.

PS: Hotline suicide sucks and they don't answer to your calls.

PS2: Don't prented you are against suicide but when a sick mentally ill person asks for help you just close the damn door on his face.

You don't have do this Diego! Please man.

You're human just like everyone else here. Humans make mistakes all the time but that doesn't make suicide worth something.

You're not at all terrible but you need help. Call 911 if you feel your options fading.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Does anyone have a Twitter here? If so, can you guys send this message to Lord Kristine, Jodran, Angus Galiano and Matheus Menecez for me?

"Hello, I'm not asking you anything, just please read this message. I know you are angry with me. That you probably hate me by now. That you don't even want to look at me again. For many times I wondered and asked you why, and you said for me to look up at my actions/past. And I kept wondering why. Now I really stopped to look at it, to see WHY I hurt you, even when I didn't mean to. Now I see why you said those things, why you blocked me and stuff. It was toxic. I was not only an ignorant person, but also vile and horrible. I look at the mirror and I see it now. I see that I'm a horrible person for doing all those things. I feel ashamed for being me, for even to be born. I deeply consider you a friend, even if you don't anymore. And now I see what being a friend means. And I see that I probably lost my friends for being such a piece of human crap. I'm writing this for you to just let you know that I know what I did now, because I couldn't bear to leave this world without letting you know that I'm really sorry for everything. For being what I was. For saying a lot of hurtfull stuff. I don't know if you even will forgive me one day, but if you don't, it's okay. It's all my fault. I was wrong, I acted wrong. And I deserve to be punished like the horrible person I am. So don't worry because I'll do it by myself. I'm searching for a therapist right now but I don't know if I even will live to see one. You can rest safe, because I'll never EVER hurt you again, not anyone. I'll cut the problem by it's roots. I am the problem, don't know how it took so much for me to know it. There's a lot of wrong stuff inside me, I'm not normal. Anyway, I just want to thank you for making me smile, before the days I started to act so lame, so horrible. You are a good person, and I'm glad to have met you. I hope you are happy or finds happiness, I really do. Because I'm not a happy person, and it hurts. Okay, that's all I think, goodbye. I hope when I'm dead you guys can be happy again. That's probably the only solution for a freak like me."

Thanks, that's all.

PS: Hotline suicide sucks and they don't answer to your calls.

PS2: Don't prented you are against suicide but when a sick mentally ill person asks for help you just close the damn door on his face.

What exactly did you do to them? Also, you really need to go see a psychologist, ASAP.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Does anyone have a Twitter here? If so, can you guys send this message to Lord Kristine, Jodran, Angus Galiano and Matheus Menecez for me?

"Hello, I'm not asking you anything, just please read this message. I know you are angry with me. That you probably hate me by now. That you don't even want to look at me again. For many times I wondered and asked you why, and you said for me to look up at my actions/past. And I kept wondering why. Now I really stopped to look at it, to see WHY I hurt you, even when I didn't mean to. Now I see why you said those things, why you blocked me and stuff. It was toxic. I was not only an ignorant person, but also vile and horrible. I look at the mirror and I see it now. I see that I'm a horrible person for doing all those things. I feel ashamed for being me, for even to be born. I deeply consider you a friend, even if you don't anymore. And now I see what being a friend means. And I see that I probably lost my friends for being such a piece of human crap. I'm writing this for you to just let you know that I know what I did now, because I couldn't bear to leave this world without letting you know that I'm really sorry for everything. For being what I was. For saying a lot of hurtfull stuff. I don't know if you even will forgive me one day, but if you don't, it's okay. It's all my fault. I was wrong, I acted wrong. And I deserve to be punished like the horrible person I am. So don't worry because I'll do it by myself. I'm searching for a therapist right now but I don't know if I even will live to see one. You can rest safe, because I'll never EVER hurt you again, not anyone. I'll cut the problem by it's roots. I am the problem, don't know how it took so much for me to know it. There's a lot of wrong stuff inside me, I'm not normal. Anyway, I just want to thank you for making me smile, before the days I started to act so lame, so horrible. You are a good person, and I'm glad to have met you. I hope you are happy or finds happiness, I really do. Because I'm not a happy person, and it hurts. Okay, that's all I think, goodbye. I hope when I'm dead you guys can be happy again. That's probably the only solution for a freak like me."

Thanks, that's all.

PS: Hotline suicide sucks and they don't answer to your calls.

PS2: Don't prented you are against suicide but when a sick mentally ill person asks for help you just close the damn door on his face.

I'm going to say this once, not only because everyone here cares about you but because you have to stop threatening to physically harm yourself every time you get into a disagreement with someone. I dont know what happened on Twitter, but I've noticed every time this happens, you talk about harming yourself. There's going to come a time where you actually do hurt yourself and nobody will take it seriously because it's been said so many times. So, as a friend, scale it back. Disagreements happen, people say things to friends that may hurt them, it may not, these things are a part of life and nothing will ever be perfect, regardless of how hard you or anyone else may try to make it so. You will alienate your friendships more by doing this than arguing with them.

Just make them know that. Know that I'll do something good for all the world. Nobody will suffer bc of me anymore. And this fucking hotline sucks, nobody answers. It's almost a signal for me. That I'm in the right path. I plan everything for tonight. Just waiting my mom to sleep. I'm tired of my own dramas too, I just imagine the pain in the ass I was for other people. Now I understand.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Just make them know that. Know that I'll do something good for all the world. Nobody will suffer bc of me anymore. And this fucking hotline sucks, nobody answers. It's almost a signal for me. That I'm in the right path. I plan everything for tonight. Just waiting my mom to sleep. I'm tired of my own dramas too, I just imagine the pain in the ass I was for other people. Now I understand.

Diego. Dont do this. Please. Don't do this. Im begging you man.

Diego, don't. No matter what we say, we do like you. We care for you as much as we would any other person. Please, don't do it.

Pardon the double-post, but Diego, we all want you to be happy. We all are trying our best, but you have to be willing to accept help too. And one last thing, nobody will be happier if you end it. I doubt even your worst enemies are that cruel.

Océane wrote:

Pardon the double-post, but Diego, we all want you to be happy. We all are trying our best, but you have to be willing to accept help too. And one last thing, nobody will be happier if you end it. I doubt even your worst enemies are that cruel.

That's the problem, they are not my enemies. I consider them a lot. They are good people. I don't want to hurt them but I'm so hurt now that I even hurt them. I just wanted to say them that I'm really sorry for making them sad or angry. I just wanted to talk and feel accepted. It took me so long to be accepted but now I ruined it and they blocked me.

You know who they are, Jodran, Lord Kristine, all good fun people. And you guys are the joy of my life. I can't bear to make anyone hurt bc of something bad I said.

You are my only friends. I don't have real life friends. I'm not even getting well with my parents. I feel everything so intense, it might be why I say so many bad stuff when I'm angry. It's all my fault. I doubt they'll forgive me, that they'll even see the good I have to show bc they think I can't change anymore.

What I just ask them is a little compreension on me too, I want to show my best, but I'm so hurt right now.


So I think they'll be better if I just die and don't harass anyone with my petty soul.

Diego I dont know what to say. You won't be making anyone happy with your death. Think about your parents, they will be the ones to have to live with this their whole lives. Don't do this.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

Océane wrote:

Pardon the double-post, but Diego, we all want you to be happy. We all are trying our best, but you have to be willing to accept help too. And one last thing, nobody will be happier if you end it. I doubt even your worst enemies are that cruel.

That's the problem, they are not my enemies. I consider them a lot. They are good people. I don't want to hurt them but I'm so hurt now that I even hurt them. I just wanted to say them that I'm really sorry for making them sad or angry. I just wanted to talk and feel accepted. It took me so long to be accepted but now I ruined it and they blocked me.

You know who they are, Jodran, Lord Kristine, all good fun people. And you guys are the joy of my life. I can't bear to make anyone hurt bc of something bad I said.

You are my only friends. I don't have real life friends. I'm not even getting well with my parents. I feel everything so intense, it might be why I say so many bad stuff when I'm angry. It's all my fault. I doubt they'll forgive me, that they'll even see the good I have to show bc they think I can't change anymore.

What I just ask them is a little compreension on me too, I want to show my best, but I'm so hurt right now.


So I think they'll be better if I just die and don't harass anyone with my petty soul.

Have you tried taking antidepressants?

Jodran told me to find the solution to my problems by myself. And that he also had depression but he didn't take it on other people. Well, guess what? PEOPLE REACT DIFFERENTLY. You can't expect people to react the same. I don't even know what I have to be honest, that's why I tried reaching out a therapist to help me since yesterday. 

I'm out.

And no I don't take meds, I'm not even finding a fucking therapist so I just give up.

How beautiful:


Let me just say this to you, Angus: You don't know me to call me a piece of shit. But thanks for the message, I'll glady put you as one of the main reasons why I fucking stabbed my own chest and then blew my head with a .38 caliber. Thanks for the message, you just made me grow a pair to do it.

I'll love to leave a list with for my parents to see, what a piece of shit their son was.  Beautiful.

I want this message to reach him. He'll be so pleased to know a piece of shit won't do any harm to anyone again.

Spinosaur4.4 wrote:

How beautiful:


Let me just say this to you, Angus: You don't know me to call me a piece of shit. But thanks for the message, I'll glady put you as one of the main reasons why I fucking stabbed my own chest and then blew my head with a .38 caliber. Thanks for the message, you just made me grow a pair to do it.

I'll love to leave a list with for my parents to see, what a piece of shit their son was.  Beautiful.

I want this message to reach him. He'll be so pleased to know a piece of shit won't do any harm to anyone again.

Diego, this is not an okay thing to do.

Diego, I'm sorry you feel this way, but in some ways Angus is right; you operate on a cycle of hurting your friends feelings, make them have a guilt trip, and then theaten to commit suicide. Some people just can't deal with it that long, especially when they have disagreeing political opinions.

Iight, I've had enough. What happens on Twitter...stays on Twitter, or any form of social media for that matter. This is not a thread for personal attacks, or to air dirty laundry. Yes, this is a warning.

Diego, for the love of god, stop threatening to harm yourself every few days. Like I told you in private the other day, not everyone is going to agree with your thoughts and now you've pushed too far and people are pissed at you....and since you continue to act in this manner, I really don't know what else to say to you. If there really is something going on in that head of yours...it's time to get professional help.

Océane wrote:

Diego, I'm sorry you feel this way, but in some ways Angus is right; you operate on a cycle of hurting your friends feelings, make them have a guilt trip, and then theaten to commit suicide. Some people just can't deal with it that long, especially when they have disagreeing political opinions.

Dead2009 wrote:

Like I told you in private the other day, not everyone is going to agree with your thoughts and now you've pushed too far and people are pissed at you.

To be honest, I can't help but wonder if you're getting kicks out of these suicide threats and making people all worried about you. "If I go, then I might as well make as much people as miserable as I can." You keep on claiming that this site, and before JPL, was basically the one/main thing that kept you alive. Yet, between you getting short tempered and butthurt whenever somebody disagrees with you or has legitimate points you go off in tizzy. Case in point, remember how you downvoted me and Tyrant Lizard for disagreeing with you?

Based on that behavior and well as this, I honestly believe that you are a very selfish person who's thinking about committing suicide simply because of how people disagree with you and that you think people suck in general for having disagreements with you. The only reason why none of the admins/mods were this blunt with you is because they didn't want to have the guilt of being the ones who inadvertently pushed you over the edge.